主题：【版面活动】英语征文大赛－奖项已评出

原文由 happyjyl 发表:
Now I’m working in a clinical pharmacological laboratory of a provincial hospital. The primary services provided by our laboratory（“业务”用business更好。想要表达“核心业务”，可用core business或at the heart of our business） are study of clinical pharmacokinetics and drug metabolism, especially the clinical pharmacokinetics of Traditional Chinese Medicines (TCMs) and the bioavailability (BA) and bioequivalence (BE) research of new drugs in healthy volunteers.
My job focuses on the determination of drug concentrations in human plasma using precise instrument （精密仪器：precision instruments，以下同。） after they took test preparations （我觉得改为after injection of ** 更好。） .In technical words, it is called （可简略地写为：which is technically called （把前面一句的句号改为逗号）） biopharmaceutical analysis. The main instruments to determine drugs in biological specimen used in our laboratory are high performance liquid chromatography （注意：chromatography是色谱法，色谱仪的英文是chromatograph，以下同。） (HPLC), liquid chromatography-mass spectrography (LC/MS) and liquid chromatography-tandem mass spectrography (LC/MS/MS). The table below listed the main precise instruments of our laboratory.
    Instrument          Numbers
    Waters 2695 HPLC        2
    Agilent 1100 HPLC        2
    Waters ZQ 2000 LC/MS        1
    Waters Quattro Micro LC/MS/MS        1
    Waters Quattro Primer UPLC/MS/MS        1
    AB API4000 LC/MS/MS        1
（以下段落中应该用一般现在时，因为你现在还在做这些工作。）
Once I accepted a determination project, I need to look up the literature, develop an analytical method, finish the determination of all samples (always nearly to 1000) and complete the Summary Report within about several months. And （建议改为“, among which”） developing an analytical method was the key procedure of the whole process.
There were no government standards in my working field. Thus looking up the literature was the first step when I began my task, and its result determined if I need to develop a new assay method or not. Inevitably, I usually encountered many literatures （literature表示“文学”时为可数名词，有复数形式；表示医学文献时为不可数名词，没有复数形式。） written in English, some of which I got through the internet, such as this web by asking for help. Nevertheless, my written English is so poor that please forgive my terrible English in this article. Let’s get to the point. If I couldn’t find any HPLC, LC/MS or LC/MS/MS method to determine my target compound in the literature, or the method was not suitable to my compound, （这两句有些啰嗦，我觉得用“If literature methods are not available”就行了。） I need to develop a brand-new assay method.
    According to the sensitivity request, I should set up a new determination method, with proper fore-treatment, suitable equipment and optimized chromatographic and mass spectrographic conditions, which could cost me several days to weeks. The （这里没有特指是哪一个人，应改为A。） person with rich experience could greatly shorten the time of this procedure. I always came to （也可用visit） this forum since I first came across it in 2006. Not only could I learn much expertise （这种提法比较别扭，换一种吧。）, but also I knew （改为make） a lot of friends here. Though we didn’t ever meet each other, we discussed questions, worked out a solution together and shared successful happiness with each other. To publish methodology articles in professional magazines, especially in SCI magazines, was the best affirmation of this work.（这句话的意思不太清楚，是说在专业杂志上发表文章是对你上论坛的最大肯定吗？如果不是的话，这句话和下一句话跟上下文就没什么联系，不应该出现在这里。） But my English was so poor that I would （根据句意改为“need to”） spend more time on English learning. Sometimes, I just need to modify some procedure and conditions of the reported assay according to my lab’s current qualification. In a word, method developing is a challenging and enjoyable work.
    After setting up a stable assay method, I would apply it in my project. I determined the drug concentrations in human plasma with this method. There were always up to 1,000 samples and it usually cost me several weeks. Keeping this procedure smoothly （改为smooth） requested us more carefully （改为to be more careful） in sample fore-treatment, column washing and instrument utilization (following the standard of procedure, SOP). The signals of MS was always changed （应改为主动语态，如varies） even if had been repaired from a minor problem. Therefore, serious working attitude could keep every thing in good condition and brought us with good reproducibility and data. Completing the Summary Report was the last work I should do. Data analysis with professional soft ware, such as BAPP and DAS, and filling the data in the report platen were what I need to do. From the results, I could know （也可以用tell） if the new drug （从下一句和我掌握的行业知识来看，你说的是仿制药，新药是参比制剂。所以这里该用generic drugs。如果是首仿药则用first generic drugs）was bioequivalent to the reference preparation. What I’m doing now is a necessary procedure of an imitated new drug (见上句).

点评：总的来说，楼主的基础很不错，要是写完以后多读几遍、仔细斟酌一下就更好了。我们有些国外客户的英语表达还不如你呢，要对自己有信心！多看些英文的技术资料，我觉得你会很快提高的。

非常感谢版主的点评，我也知道自己的英语是什么水平，呵呵！也想好好学英语，可是老也坚持不下来，可能方法也不对。看了版主的点评，知道自己在很多方面都存在问题，以后要多来这里向大家学习

原文由 atlas 发表:

keep testing all day and sometimes keep testing soon after pretreating.

言简意赅啊。

原文由 melu 发表:
My work information as following, FYI!

And just now, I Occupy Environment detect engineertak charge of quality abnormity /determinant of ICP testing report and affirming ofapiece electron material/collecting and conformity dictate/pushing and keeping environment substance manage system/safekeeping raw and processed materials/auditing electron original partsof an apparatus and charger's all kinds of material status/accompany client audit/company audit inner/China RoHS implement.

Aggressive, independent and be able to work under a dynamic environment. Have coordination skills, teamwork spirit. Studious nature and dedication are my greatest strengths.

看来你的workload不轻啊，呵呵。Job description只描述工作就可以了。第二段话像简历上的个人描述，可以不写的。

原文由 laurelhuang 发表:
Please read my experience as follow:...

I will work for the testing center in our laboratory. But right now, the center is on constructing.
检测中心是从属于实验室的，所以应该用of。
“正在建设中”应为be under construction。
为使句子更简练，可改为I will work for the testing center of our laboratory, which is now under constructing.

So in the last year, my mainly job was applying for equipments, such as ICP-MS, ICP-OES, GDMS and so on.
Mainly是副词，此处应改为形容词main。
Equipments后面的逗号应去掉。

I searched the instrument companies, communicated with them, chose the type and followed the procedure in our company.
Search后应该加介词for。
搜集信息时不确定为哪一家公司，所以应去掉instrument companies之前的定冠词the。
如果你们公司有固定的购买流程，procedure改为SOP好些。

Additionally, I did some experiments on our products, such as how to improve wafering, analyze the relationship between brick lifetime and cell efficiency and so on.
句子层次和时态不太清楚，建议改为I did some experiments on our products, including improving wafering, analyzing the relationship between brick lifetime and cell efficiency and so on.

Right now, I read some English papers in our industry and translate them in order to improve my English and my professional knowledge and my English professional glossary.
你的意思是想获得更多英语、专业英语和本专业方面的知识吧？但my和and用得太多，致使句子的层次不太清楚。建议改为to improve my knowledge in / to make improvements in English, English jargons, and my profession.

I have no passion reading the whole.
Have no passion之后应加介词for。
The whole后面应加上passage或article。

I am always very nervous when I am reading long or unfamiliar passages.
去掉when后面的I am以使句子更简洁。

So I don’t like reading myself. But strangely, I can remember the most when people reading for me or when discussing the passages. But not when I read it by myself.
第一句和第三句有些重复。第二句中，两个分句的主语不一致，且一个保留主语另一个省略主语，句子结构不够优美。建议改为：
I don’t like reading by myself. But strangely, I can remember most when people read for me or discuss with me.

Sometimes, I feel interest, but sometimes, I think it is very boring or it is very difficult.
有些啰嗦。建议改为:
Sometimes I find it interesting but quite often （或根据你的感受换成其它表示时间频率的词） it is boring or difficult.

In my high school, I was dreamed to become an on-site translator.
应去掉was。was dreamed to表示别人梦想你做某事。

你的文字整体感觉不错，要是能更简洁些就好了。建议你看看William Strunk, Jr.编写、E.B. White修订的The Elements of Style。非常经典的一本书，看完后会很有收获的。网上有很多下载的，随便一搜就能搜到。